Ive been waitressing alot which is one of the reasons I havnet been blogging as much as I used to. Well not really waitressing as much as standing behind a till taking orders bilingually and giving out drinks. I can draft the perfect beer now, life skill right there! ^^ Customers vary. There are the complete and utter twatty ones that you just want to push in the Thames (its the river that goes through London, and our beergarden is right next to it) and then there are the nice ones that you dont have to force yourself to smile at. The third category is the funny, drunk flirts. These always brighten up your day seeing as theyre just plain funny. Take Barry (Im sure he told me his name but I dont remember). He was in the beergarden with a large party buying lots and lots of drinks. He refused to be served by anyone else but me though, so I smiled each time and answered politely to the “sooo where are you from? Whats your name? Where do you live?” and allowed him to practise his German on me “Du bist sehr schoen!” (You are very beautiful.) while he was sporting a manic grin. He ended up asking me to dump my job and run away with him after the party. When I declined he went back to his group dejectedly and the bouncer (yes we have bouncers in our restaurant) asked me “Are you alright, hun? That guy bothering you?” I assured him I was fine and that I could handle it easily ^^ When it was closing time, I stood outside waving off lingering guests when Barry started stumbling towards me. You have to imagine a big guy, wasted, with his arms raised, like a zombie with a hungry look in his eyes. Yep. Lol, I sidestepped before he could get close to my basoomas and he tripped past me and fell. Haha. He then left mumbling an apology. I turned around to see the bouncer laughing his ass off. Typical. -.-
Beer Galore. Jugs of them.
Now this is the retarded type of customer that you just wish not to encounter:
Blonde Lady: So, I want a litre of beer. (We serve jugs of beer)
Lovely Me: Im really very sorry but we only hold a restaurant license which means I can only serve you alcohol after a substantial meal. (I lean towards the menu to make some suggestions when -)
Blonde Lady: What the fuck? Ive been sitting here with my friends for the last 15minutes. Just give me beer!
Lovely Me: Have you eaten?
Blonde Lady: No!
Lovely Me: Well then Im really sorry but I cant. (See how polite?!)
Blonde Lady: Well where the fuck is the info on this licensing thing huh?!
Lovely Me: It says on the first page in the menu. (She was holding it)
Blonde Lady: Why would I look at the first fucking page?! (Siiigh.)
Lovely Me: Look Im sorry if you didnt see the first page (dumb bitch) but all our other customers obviously did.
Blonde Lady: You should put some flippin signs up!
Lovely Me: There are three signs, including one at the entrance. (Man im patient)
Blonde Lady: Well I didnt see any at all! Fine, fuckinghell, I’ll just take some fucking food, okay?!
Yes. Work. People take waiters and waitresses for granted, and still we smile.
